Meet Helinka: The Woman Behind Unspoken Rosebud

Hello, I’m Helinka, founder of Unspoken Rosebud, specialist mentor, therapist, clinical hypnotherapist, lingerie designer, gardener, lover of hot water, and proud owner of a rather vocal stoma, ostomy.

If you’ve found your way here, I thought it might be time to properly introduce myself and share why Unspoken Rosebud exists.

Because the truth is, it wasn’t created as a business.

It was created because there was a gap that desperately needed filling.

And because sometimes the things nobody talks about are the things we need to talk about most.

How It All Started

My journey into the world of stoma, ostomy care began with bowel cancer.

Looking back, my symptoms seemed quite ordinary. There was occasional bleeding from my bottom, a pain in my side, and a level of exhaustion that simply didn’t make sense. I was permanently knackered, yet I couldn’t explain why.

Eventually, those symptoms led to a diagnosis that would change my life.

Like many people, I focused on getting through treatment and surgery. What I wasn’t prepared for was what came afterwards.

When the appointments slowed down and life appeared to return to normal for everyone around me, I found myself sitting at home trying to recover.

My family and friends cared deeply. They supported me the best they could.

But recovery can be lonely.

The world keeps moving while you’re still trying to work out who you are now.

The Stoma, Ostomy I Didn’t Want

When my medical team told me I would need a temporary stoma, ostomy, I wasn’t exactly thrilled.

In fact, I argued.

I was convinced I could heal without one.

Unfortunately, the surgeons disagreed.

They explained it would give me the best chance of recovery, and eventually I accepted that I didn’t really have a choice.

At the time, it was only meant to be temporary.

Twelve weeks and it would all be over.

Or so I thought.

I already had an aunt with a stoma, ostomy, and all I had ever heard was how difficult life was with one. That wasn’t exactly reassuring.

The first stoma, ostomy was something I simply endured. I viewed it as part of the treatment process rather than a permanent change.

What I didn’t realise was that the physical healing would be the easy part.

The emotional healing was something else entirely.

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The Part Nobody Talks About

The surgery was successful.

The cancer treatment worked.

But radiotherapy caused damage to my bowel, leaving me with three years of very little bowel control.

Three years of planning life around toilets.

Three years of worry.

Three years of restrictions.

Eventually, I made a decision that surprised many people.

I chose to have another stoma, ostomy.

The irony wasn’t lost on me.

I hadn’t wanted the first one.

I hated the thought of having another.

Yet I wanted my life back more than I feared the bag.

And that second surgery brought something unexpected.

Relief.

Freedom.

A chance to start living again.

What Living With a Stoma, Ostomy Has Taught Me

People often describe me as stubborn, strong, and flexible.

I think they’re probably right.

Living through cancer, treatment, recovery, and life with a stoma, ostomy has taught me that we are often far stronger than we believe.

It has also taught me that life happens for you, not to you.

That doesn’t mean every experience is enjoyable.

Far from it.

But sometimes the hardest chapters become the ones that shape who we are.

I’ve learned to respect my body.

It’s been through surgery, treatment, trauma, healing, setbacks, and recovery.

It’s done its best every single day.

And for that, I’m grateful.

The Funny Side Nobody Warns You About

Now let’s be honest.

A stoma, ostomy has a wicked sense of humour.

One of my favourite memories happened while sitting in a dentist’s waiting room.

The room was completely silent.

Not a sound.

Then my stoma, ostomy decided it had something important to contribute to the conversation.

The noise was spectacular.

I tried the classic hand-over-the-bag manoeuvre.

It didn’t help.

Not one bit.

The funny thing?

Nobody else reacted.

Nobody looked up.

Nobody cared.

The embarrassment existed entirely in my own head.

Another memorable occasion involved a leak during a show with family and friends.

We couldn’t easily leave and, quite frankly, why should everyone else miss the performance?

So I packed it with toilet roll, carried on watching, and enjoyed every minute.

The show was brilliant.

Sometimes life isn’t about perfection.

It’s about getting on with it.

A free webinar on life with a stoma, ostomy

Recovery Isn’t Just Hard For The Patient

One thing I’ve come to understand over the years is that when someone receives a cancer diagnosis or undergoes life-changing surgery, it affects far more than just the person in the hospital bed.

While I was recovering, the people I loved were carrying their own worries and challenges.

My husband found himself in an incredibly difficult position. He was trying to support me through treatment, surgery, and recovery while dealing with uncertainty at work. He was torn between being there for me and protecting his job. Looking back, I can only imagine how difficult that must have been for him.

My son was busy raising three young boys while working and supporting his own family. His hands were already full. Like many loved ones, he also worried about saying or doing the wrong thing. In fact, he was convinced he might hurt me if he came too close.

To be fair, he can be a little heavy-handed at the best of times, bless him!

My daughter was incredible. She helped me enormously in those early days and was often the person who stepped in when I needed support. Yet I know she found it difficult too. Seeing someone you love go through cancer treatment, surgery, and recovery isn’t easy. Sometimes the emotional impact on family members can be just as challenging as the practical side.

At the time, I felt lonely.

Not because people didn’t care.

But because everyone was trying to navigate something none of us had experienced before.

Looking back now, I realise we were all doing the best we could with the knowledge and resources we had.

That understanding has helped me see recovery in a very different way.

Sometimes the people around us need support too.

More Than A Stoma, Ostomy

One of my favourite comments came from a friend after we’d spent an entire day together.

As we were saying goodbye, he turned to me and said, “Do you know what? I forget you’ve got a stoma, ostomy.”

At first, it might sound like a strange thing to say.

But for me, it was one of the greatest compliments I could have received.

Not because I want people to ignore the realities of life with a stoma, ostomy.

But because it reminded me of something important.

People don’t see the bag first.

They see me.

The friend.

The wife.

The mum.

The gardener.

The therapist.

The mentor.

The woman who occasionally tells her stoma, ostomy to be quiet in public.

For years, I worried that the bag would become the first thing people noticed about me.

The reality was very different.

Most people see the person, not the pouch.

And that’s exactly what I want others living with a stoma, ostomy to understand.

You are still you.

You are not defined by the surgery you’ve had.

You are not defined by the bag attached to your tummy.

You are defined by the life you continue to live.

Why I Started Unspoken Rosebud

When I first got my stoma, ostomy, I quickly discovered something frustrating.

The beautiful lingerie I loved wearing before surgery had disappeared from my wardrobe.

Not because I wanted it to.

Because there simply weren’t many attractive options available.

Everything seemed clinical.

Functional.

Medical.

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And while functionality matters, so does confidence.

So does femininity.

So does feeling elegant.

Why should having a stoma, ostomy mean giving up silk, lace, beautiful colours, and feeling good about yourself?

It shouldn’t.

That was the beginning of Unspoken Rosebud.

However, as I met more people living with a stoma, ostomy, I realised the lingerie wasn’t the only thing missing.

People were struggling emotionally.

They were anxious.

They were isolated.

They were lying awake at 2am wondering “what if?”

They were falling down internet rabbit holes filled with fear and negativity.

And nobody seemed to be talking about it.

The medical teams do an incredible job helping us physically recover.

But many people are left to navigate the emotional side alone.

That’s where I knew I could help.

Why The Name Unspoken Rosebud?

There’s actually a simple explanation.

A stoma, ostomy is often referred to as a “rosebud” because of its appearance.

The “unspoken” part represents everything people don’t talk about.

The fears.

The worries.

The grief.

The confidence issues.

The relationship struggles.

The questions people are afraid to ask.

Together, the name perfectly represents what I wanted to create.

A place where the unspoken finally has a voice.

And, if I’m honest, it was one of the few names I could spell without giving my dyslexia a hard time!

What I Do Today

Today, I combine my professional training as a clinical hypnotherapist and therapist with something equally valuable.

Lived experience.

I know what it feels like to sit in hospital.

I know what it feels like to feel isolated.

I know what it feels like to wonder whether life will ever feel normal again.

Through specialist mentoring, therapy, education, support, and my lingerie collections, my goal is simple.

To help people see that life is still waiting for them.

The bag may sit on your tummy.

But it does not define who you are.

You are still a partner.

A parent.

A friend.

A colleague.

A gardener.

A dreamer.

A traveller.

A human being with hopes, goals, and a future.

The stoma, ostomy is part of your story.

It is not the whole story.

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A Few Things You Might Not Know About Me

• I love walking near running water.
• My garden and allotment are filled with tomatoes, strawberries, apples, carrots, peas, French beans, and flowers.
• My drink of choice is hot water.
• Seeing people enjoy life brings me enormous happiness.
• I once sang for the Queen during her Silver Jubilee celebrations.
• And yes, my stoma, ostomy still occasionally has terrible timing.

My Mission

My mission is simple.

I want people living with a stoma, ostomy to realise they are so much more than the bag attached to their tummy.

Life doesn’t stop because of surgery.

Life continues.

There is still laughter.

There is still confidence.

There is still love.

There is still adventure.

There is still purpose.

And there is still an amazing life waiting to be lived.

If that’s something you’re looking for, welcome to Unspoken Rosebud.

You’re in exactly the right place.

Getting My Life Back: The Story Behind Unspoken Rosebud

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog in full and hopefully your get a much better understanding of who and why I do this.