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Making the decision to have stoma, ostomy surgery

There comes a moment for many people where the conversation about stoma, ostomy surgery becomes real. Not just something you read about online, not just a scary word whispered in a hospital room, but a genuine option placed in front of you.

And by that point, you’ve probably already done the thing we all do… you’ve gone on the internet. You’ve read the stories. The ones about how hard it is. How strange it feels. How life will “never be the same.” It’s easy to come away thinking the cons far outweigh the pros.

But let’s pause for a moment and ask a different question.

What are the alternatives for you?

Are you living in constant pain?
Do you have no control over your bowels?
Are you stuck in the house, planning your day around the toilet?
Or is this being offered after bowel surgery to allow your body time to heal?

When you look at it that way, the decision becomes less about the bag itself, and more about the life you want to live.

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Understanding the type of stoma, ostomy

One of the practical things to think about is whether you will have an ileostomy or a colostomy. This isn’t always your choice, but it’s something you can ask about so you feel more informed.

Ileostomy
This comes from the small bowel. The output is looser, a bit like what you’d find in a baby’s nappy. Because of this, the bag is usually an open-ended one that you empty a few times a day.

Colostomy
This comes from the large bowel. The output is slower and more formed, closer to what would normally come from the anus. This usually means a closed bag that is changed rather than emptied.

Different stoma, ostomy types need different bags. That’s normal, and you will be guided through it. You don’t need to know everything before surgery. No one expects you to become an overnight expert.

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The fear is real… but so is the possibility of relief

Let me be honest. I didn’t want any of this.

When the doctors told me I needed a stoma, ostomy after bowel cancer surgery to give my bowel time to heal, I wasn’t exactly jumping for joy. There was no confetti. No celebration. Just a lot of quiet processing and a few choice words in my head.

But I had to look at the bigger picture. The long-term recovery. The chance to heal properly.

So I agreed.

Unfortunately, after radiotherapy, my bowel was damaged. That meant I had another decision to make. Stay stuck in the house, constantly worrying about accidents, pain, and the nearest toilet… or have a bag on my tummy and get my life back.

It wasn’t a simple emotional decision. But the question I kept coming back to was this:

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What kind of quality of life do I want?

I didn’t sit there studying every single product or worrying about what type of bag I’d use. I looked at the life I was living… and the life I could have.

I wanted to:

• Go out when I felt like it
• Eat food without fear
• Stop spending hours on the toilet
• And, if I’m honest, give my poor sore bum a well-earned rest!

Sometimes, you have to simplify the decision. Not easy. But simple.

It’s not about the bag. It’s about your life.

Yes, the adjustment to a stoma, ostomy can be hard at first. There’s learning, emotions, and a lot of new information. But for many people, it also brings:

• Less pain
• More freedom
• Better sleep
• Confidence to leave the house again
• And a life that feels more normal than before

So instead of only asking, “How hard will the bag be?”
Try asking, “What could my life look like with it?”

That question can change everything.

If you’re facing this decision, or you’ve recently had stoma, ostomy surgery and your emotions are all over the place, you’re not alone in that.

My Story Short & Real 💪

I’m Helinka. In 2013, bowel cancer and surgery left me with an ileostomy. Life with a stoma, ostomy didn’t just change my body, it rocked my confidence, mindset, and sense of who I was.

I didn’t want to just “get by.” I wanted to feel good in my body again. When I couldn’t find anything that helped me feel confident or feminine, I made it myself.

Now I design specialised stoma, ostomy lingerie and support people emotionally as a clinical hypnotherapist, helping calm anxiety, rebuild confidence, and feel safe in their bodies again.

You are not alone. And life can still feel good 💖